Monthly Archive for April, 2009

Why Relationships are like Sandcastles


Tonight, I write in a stream-of-consciousness style. That means I haven’t outlined and pre-planned this article as I have in the vast majority of other articles on this site. Tonight I’d like to talk about people. I suspect that even if I were far-removed from this age of never-ending electric light and perpetual connectivity, I would be writing something similar to this with a quill pen beneath a lit candle. But I think I’ll use this backlit keyboard while I have it. ;)

People Come in Waves

It has been said that the quality of your life can only be as good as the quality of your relationships. There’s the relationship between you and others; and, perhaps most importantly, your relationship with yourself.

Having healthy, mutually-beneficial relationships is certainly conducive in creating a happy life. (That’s not to say it’s a requirement for everyone though. There are many people, such as hermits still living today, that claim to be quite happy in solitude, so as the ancient saying goes: to each his own.) However, in my experience most people require positive interpersonal relationship to be content, and this is actually a wonderful design because it encourages exposure to new ideas and provides a completely new lens for a person to see themselves through. In fact, relationships are the biggest catalyst for growth in most people’s lives.

Human Predilection to Relationships

Because of this predilection to forming relationships, whether they be friendships, intimate relationships, or casual in nature, people also tend to become attached and acclimated to these types of conditions. But will any of these relationships truly survive on the physical plane?

Of course not! Everything your eyes can see is temporary… including your eyes, actually, but try not to think about that too much. That’s out of your hands.

Instead, consider that the nature of your existence is temporary, and none of your relationships will survive death, at least not in their current form. And if you are a frequent traveller, you have probably experienced an accelerated version of this, making fast friends, perhaps even having some intense experiences, and knowing that you will not be there for long.

For such travellers, it’s easy for them to see that relationships come in waves. They are forever in flux, forever in change, and they recognize that holding onto something tightly is like trying to stop the tide from coming in and destroying your lovely little sandcastle. But the sandcastle was not made to remain in that form, just as any relationship was not made to remain static. Much like any natural phenomena, a human relationship either builds, crumbles, or gradually wears away from neglect. There are no other options.

A Sandcastle Before the Tide

Of course, the foundations of these ideas are not new, in fact they are quite old. So only take this as a reminder that becoming attached to a single person, or a set of people, is a completely natural reaction; but always remember that you are in the midst of a sandcastle before the tide. Enjoy the time while it lasts, but never place your happiness and validation into the hands of others. I’ve learned this personally time and again. To side-step much suffering, it is helpful to let seasons pass in their own time, and to relish in the changes when they come, knowing that the next stage will shape you into an even stronger and more compassionate person than you are now.

Though it’s not a lesson that comes easily or quickly, when you learn to do that, joy will follow you through all your journeys.


Recommended Reading:

  1. Personal Development for Smart People & Travel


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How Standby Tickets Work, Why You Should Know


If you’ve ever searched for cheap airplane tickets before, you’ve probably come across sites like Kayak.com and Momondo.com that aggregate and compare ticket prices from all the major ticket sites like Priceline.com as well as the airlines themselves, but these kinds of price-aggregation sites are not always the best way to get a cheap plane ticket. In fact, by using one of those sites, you miss out on an opportunity for an even bigger discount.

A lesser-known alternative to these sites is to purchase a standby ticket, which can be profoundly less expensive. AirTech.com is probably the most well known standby ticket hub. They sell transatlantic flights from Europe to the USA and vice versa (and even flights to Hawaii). Taking a standby flight can be MUCH cheaper than any other option. You may not be familiar with how a standby ticket works, and you should understand the concept before you buy one.

How a Standby Ticket Works

  1. You purchase a standby ticket from AirTech.com or directly from the airline.
  2. You get a range of dates that your flight will leave. Usually this is a 4-day window. (So flexibility is required.)
  3. Call the airline the night before the day of your intended departure to confirm your ticket.
  4. Arrive at the airport at least 1 hour early, 2 hours early for international flights. (Keep in mind there is a very real chance you’ll be bumped to another flight, such is the nature of standby, so be open to finding accommodations for the day after, just in case.)
  5. Don’t check in any luggage unless absolutely necessary. There’s a chance your bags will leave on a different plane than you do (though to the same destination). You’ll be reunited with them eventually, but it’s better to take a carry on. Plus, travelling light lends itself to a more relaxed trip overall.
  6. Stay at your airline’s gate and listen carefully for your name to be called.
  7. Board the plane feeling awesome that you saved a lot of money.

You Gotta Want It

Basically, flying standby means your ticket is fulfilled when an extra seat is available on a plane to your destination. That means being ready to jump on a flight at almost any time during the day and sometimes having to wait until the next day. So a standby ticket requires you to be flexible. To guarantee you’ll get a flight, AirTech gives you a 4-day window, though it’s extremely rare to have to wait 4 days.

When you do finally settle on a date and departure city, be mindful of the comments listed under Airtech’s “seat availability” page. Sometimes (and this is rare) tax is not included in the ticket price displayed, and is an extra charge. The comments will contain all this information. The departure cities are also limited to the cities listed on the site, but if you save a few hundred dollars (or if you’re already living in a departure city) this can still be the smartest option. Be aware of the pros and cons, and you can save a lot of money.

Research Pays Off

Depending on your situation, standby tickets can be the cheapest option, especially if you’re staying with a friend in the area or live near the airport. A prime example of savings is the difference between a ticket from Minneapolis, MN to Amsterdam. During an off-season like September the best price you could get from a ticket aggregator (like Kayak.com) is $618. The trip on the same day costs $359 on AirTech.com.

While standby tickets aren’t the answer to every situation, they’re an option you shouldn’t overlook. With some research, you could very well save hundreds of dollars.

And it turns out there are some excellent books on saving money when flying, so below I’ve made a little Amazon box filled with those books. The book “Discount Airfares: The Insiders’ Guide” looks particularly interesting, and it currently has 4.5 stars on Amazon.

If you use a link below, a small percentage of your purchase goes to Byteful Travel which allows me to continue providing all of Byteful Travel’s content available free of charge. And if you do purchase something through a link below, you have my deepest thanks.

Now go, and embrace your freedom!

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